I let go of the dream…and I’m so happy. I have the most amazing bestfriend Beth Gibson who encourages me soo much! The healing begins. I”m putting all trust in the Lord, all my hurt is in him. It is finished.
believe the lie that I’m not good enough. I am. God created me good enough. No ignorant, selfish boy, that I think of highly will tell me other wise…or make me think otherwise. He might not ever realize what he’s doing, the damage he’s done, but I pray God changes in him so that no girl will ever feel that way. He’s really an amazing guy…some girl will deserve him, I don’t… but I am good enough :)
Pretty much what wrecks you. Like makes passion and fury inside of you come alive, almost to the point of anger ( the good kind) that makes you want to change it. Something that you passionately want to change. Something you live to change.
I’m going to sleep. School tomorrow. grr. It’s alright, I should probably get out of this house. I’m going insane. I might not be friends with my bestfriend tomorrow. I will be devastated. It’s all his choice, God is in control though. Tomorrow might be rough. Pray for me? I love you all so much!
Well, I’ve actually fallen apart already. Now I’m just trying to pick up the pieces. God has blessed me so much the past couple of weeks. I’ve made new friend, felt so much of God’s love, and stopped thinking about diet stuff. I just need to stop thinking about this one boy, who right now I’m talking with about not even being friends. I’m struggling, but I’m almost( so close) ready to move on. I need to move on, I know that….. I just need to do it. I need patience, and healing, and most importantly God’s mercy and grace.
Weird feeling. Bad feeling. It makes me sad. I wanna lay in bed and cry. I’m such a cry baby. I don’t feel well. I just want you to love me the way I love you- you said you’d laugh if that ever happened. Depression.
but by the time I pay my phone bill and put gas in my car I’ll be broke again….well not exactly broke. It’s not fair that I work, my sister drives the car, and I pay for the gas. I don’t make enough money to pay for gas for two people to be driving a car. My mom says it’s perfectly fair, they’re going to think perfectly fair when I start having my friends take me to work and stuff and she has no gas in the car!
Was actually great. We didn’t do a picnik and I didn’t see my bestfriend, but I did hangout with the most amazing girls I know! We went ghost hunting and to Crazy George’s bridge, and to the Witch burial place like around the corner. It was fun. The only scary part was at amp&ramps because Hans had James(the guy who works for him) scare the crap out of us. Then, someone started a chain saw at the grave yard. It was pretty fun. I will post some pictures later. :)
I’ve been calling out for resources for four years at my youth group, but every time they give me any informations it’s like they’re trying to prove something. I wasn’t wanting their point, I wanted truth. No women youth leader has ever taught us on purity, what it means, all types of purity…no woman in the past four years has done that. Last night, Tony gave me a packet on purity. After talking with him the past couple weeks on it, he actually reached out. He put information in my hand. Truth, backed up with biblical refrences.
Tony is a 26 year old man who has recently befriended Beth and I. I’m so thankful for a godly man who actually walks in faith and reaches out.
I just think it’s sad he had to do that. A woman should have, but if he hadn’t I wouldn’t feel like it mattered to my youth leaders. If he hadn’t my eyes might not have been opened, and redemption might not have started.